Things I should be doing

So yes I should be off doing something else. One of the many things I have on a list in my mind that I never seem to accomplish. And what am I doing... writing a new blog entry. It is one of the things on my list, so I sit here and continue to type. I think about the day, which in retrospect was actually productive. I cleaned a little, put away the last bit of truly baby stuff, went for a walk and started talking about publishing a book.

I sat down at the computer to begin sifting through my images and I felt a weight crash down on my shoulders. I think the reality of my son no longer being a tiny infant. The fact that his lack of hair is the remaining vestige if his infancy has somehow hit a nerve in me. I have been saying for the last year he won't be this small forever. Everytime I said it I was slowly getting closer to a time when he would get bigger., a time when I could get back to my life. The idea that I am now out of the woods, so to speak, and into the forest is a bit overwhelming. It is like the last year has been a complete blur and I had grand plans for when my baby got older and now that the future is at hand, I feel stuck. Changing the way you think is never fun. It works the old noggin, shifts ones perception.

I guess I have been making plans of what I will do for so long that I can't actually take the step forward. And again I think about the things I should be doing. In actuality is it so bad that I am sitting here putting my thoughts into words for anyone to read. I suppose it is a way for me to shed the past an move forward into the next chapter, in my book of life. I do this every time. I have trouble moving forward. That is why I am glad to have a wonderful woman to help keep me on my path. I only hope that I can be a big a help to her as she is for me.

I'm a bit better now. Sometimes all one needs to do is shed the thoughts that bind them. Sea of photo files here I come. I welcome the creative places they will take me.