Knowing your friends

I was on the phone last night with a very dear and old friend. We have been friends since the first day of high school. I started high school in a new town with no friends. She was the first person to speak to me that day. That is something I have always treasured about her. She is honestly one of the kindest, gentlest and most caring people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. For this post I will call her Joy. She recently got married to a great guy, after something like a decade of dating. Shortly after their wedding, Joy found out she was expecting a baby. I am overjoyed for them. It honestly could not have happened to more wonderful people. Since hearing the happy news I keep day dreaming about our children growing up together, being friends. This is completely ridiculous because we live in different states. I guess it is just wishful thinking on my part.

We spoke on the phone the other night and I realized she is going to be one of those natural moms. (please keep in mind I would never dream of telling anyone how to raise a child.) I should not be surprised by this. Joy and her hubby are a bit on the granola side but have never been overly so. She grew up in a relatively normal house. A home where they used chemicals to clean, shampoo and soap from the grocery store. There was nothing organic and free range about her childhood, nor her husbands. However, they are going to raise their child in that kind of environment. I have no issue with this parenting/lifestyle choice. I guess I was surprised when Joy told me they were not planning on vaccinating there baby, using cloth diapers, things of that nature. Since we come from similar backgrounds, I guess I just assumed she would be a more traditional parent. (as the saying goes when you assume.....)

This whole thing got me to thinking about all of my long standing friendships. How well did we really still know each other. Actually how well can you really ever know someone. You hear it all the time on the news, "He was such a friendly guy. I never would have thought...", preceded by some horrible story. Now I am not in anyway comparing "natural" parenting to serial killers, but can you really know someone. I've known Joy almost 20 years and her decision about how she wants to raise her child seemed out of the blue. I suppose we see what we want to in the people we choose to surround ourselves with. The longer we know someone, the more comfortable we feel about them, so when they do something unexpected it is harder to deal with. I know Joy and I will continue to be friends. Our children will play together. I guess I will forever look at her differently, wondering when the next time will be that she does the unexpected. I guess things just got more interesting.